How I almost lost my mind searching for myself, I last it when i did .

Ive always been moody, loud and short tempered. But I don know lately somethings been wrong or off I guess you could say. I don know what, why or how but I can just tell. It doesn feel like normal, I don feel like I normally do. Then again what is normal, and who is normal. Ive never really understood what it meant to be normal. Or even what normal is supposed to be or even look like. All I knew was I was the farthest thing or person for being normal.

It might sound like an exaggeration, but it really is true Im not normal. Don get me wrong, Im not saying Im special or gifted in some kind of way. Special or gifted people don hear voices and don see things that other people can . Im just weird no I feel more like a freak or some science experiment gone wrong. These thoughts that I have, I mustn tell anyone. And I definitely can do what it wants me to do or be. To tell you the truth I scared. I really am Im so scared, not of anyone or anything but of myself. I keep telling myself its okay, and that Im going to be fine that its going to pass. I keep hoping and praying that one day, Ill wake up and Ill be normal. That the voices are going to stop and I won see them anymore. But its been nineteen years, so I guess this is just who or what