I Refuse To Become Scumbag In Tokyo

Chapter 106 - Then Ill Help You

his arms became tighter, that it might be hard for her to breathe, but even so, she didn ’t want him to stop and wanted this to continue. She looked up at him and saw that Shishio just happened to look at her eyes. ”Shishio… ” She called his name softly and looked at him with blurred eyes as if she was drunk at this moment.

Shishio quickly woke up when he heard his name being called. He quickly let go of his arms and said, ”Let ’s stop here. ” He then quickly separated from her, turned around, and tried to calm his state since he knew that he might do something that couldn ’t be undone if he didn ’t stop.

Shiina felt a slight loss when Shishio let her go, but at the same time, she understood why he said that his thing was big since she caught a glimpse of his hard thing which somehow made her feel her body was burning. She looked at his back and called out his name again. ”Shishio. ”

”Hmm? ” Shishio was quite wary since he was afraid this girl might ask him some strange request again.

”Have you ever had sex? ” Shiina asked.

”…… ”

Shiina didn ’t receive an answer from Shishio, but she wasn ’t sure why it made her heart feel tight. ”Have you? ”

Shishio turned around and nodded. ”I have. ” He felt that he couldn ’t lie to this girl.

Shiina lowered her head and asked, ”…With your girlfriend? ”

”No, I don ’t have a girlfriend, ” Shishio said while shaking his head.

Shiina looked up and asked, ”With who? ”

”A girl. ” Shishio looked out the window and somehow his chest tightened when he remembered that day. ”Anyway, you should go back now. It ’s very troublesome to explain to someone why you ’re in my room tonight. ” He then wore his clothes again, with his back facing Shiina, but then he heard her voice again.

”Shishio. ”

”Hmm? ”

”Let ’s have sex. ”

”…. ” Shishio frowned then turned his head, looking at Shiina who was staring at him. He then walked toward her, then flicked her forehead without hesitation.

”Ouch! ” Shiina held her forehead and cried a bit, staring at Shishio in grief. ”It hurts. ”

”Just bear with it, it ’s still better than the regret that you feel if you really have sex with me. ” Shishio then squatted down, then raised his head slightly, looking at Shiina ’s eyes while holding both of her hands tenderly. ”Mashiro, please promise me that you shouldn ’t say something like that so lightly. ”

”Why? You have done it with a girl, but why don ’t you do it with me? ” Shiina asked like a child that wasn ’t allowed to play a game by their parents.

Shishio let out a sigh then asked, ”Mashiro, do you understand what love is? ”

”Love? ” Shiina wanted to nod, but she shook her head, but then she frowned. She might understand, but she didn ’t fully understand what love was.

”What you ’re doing right now is just an impulse. ” Shishio felt that regret so he didn ’t want Shiina to feel the same feeling that he felt. ”When someone has sex with each other, they need to feel in love with each other first. As for now, I ’m not sure whether what you feel toward me is love, impulse, lust, or another feeling, after all, we have only met each other for few days, but one thing for sure, we can ’t have sex now. ”

”When can we have sex? ” Shiina asked.

”….. ” Shishio was dumbfounded and asked, ”Do you love me? ”

Shiina thought for a while and nodded. ”I might be. ”

”Might? ” Shishio raised his eyebrow.

”I don ’t understand my feelings very well, but I know that I want to be with you, ” Shiina said softly.

”…. ” Shishio wasn ’t sure what to say since he didn ’t feel the same feeling toward Shiina.

”Shishio, what about you? Do you love me? ” Shiina asked softly, but her tone was slightly tense.

”….. ” Shishio knew that it might sound cruel, but he couldn ’t be indecisive and said, ”I don ’t love you, but I care about you. ” If he didn ’t care about Shiina, then he wouldn ’t stop her from contacting Sorata, after all, he didn ’t want to be dragged down by that scumbag, but for love? He felt that it was too early and he couldn ’t say something like that to a girl that he had only met for a while.

”….. ” Shiina didn ’t understand, but she felt her heart was hurt that it made her want to run, but when she looked at him, she felt quite unwilling and decided to ask him again, ”Then… do you love someone else? ” She wanted to know who was the person that had made him fall in love.

Shishio hesitated, but when he saw Shiina ’s pure eyes that were mixed with some sadness, he then said, ”I might not be able to fall in love with someone now. ”

”Why? ” Shiina asked again softly, wanting to understand him better.

”I have to say goodbye to someone properly and before that, I don ’t have any intention to fall for someone right now, ” Shishio said, after all, even though he had said that he wanted to have a girlfriend or he didn ’t want to let go both Nana and Miu, he didn ’t have an intention to do both of them right away. He still couldn ’t let go of his past, clinging, remembering his days with his girlfriend, family, and friends in his previous life. It might sound pathetic, but he couldn ’t throw away and forget his memories from his previous life so he could live happily in his new life, right?

”Then I ’ll help you. I ’ll help you to say goodbye properly, ” Shiina said while looking at Shishio, then patted his head, feeling that it might make him better, after all, she felt better when he patted her head so he would feel the same, right?

Patting his head, Shiina could see some sadness in his eyes and she didn ’t want to see him sad. She also didn ’t know why, but when she heard his reason, there was some relief and light appeared once again in her eyes.

”… ” Shishio was in silence, staring at Shiina ’s eyes who also stared at him without, looking away, and all he could see that she really wanted to help him. He then smiled gently and said, ”You should go back now. I want to sleep. ” He felt that he might not be able to control his emotion if she stayed here any longer.

Shiina nodded and took her drawing book and pencil, then walked out from his room, but before she went out, she stood in front of the entrance of his room.

”What ’s wrong? Did you forget something? ” Shishio asked.

”Kiss, ” Shiina said.

”…Kiss? ” Shishio was lost for words.

”Rita has always kissed me on the forehead before I go to sleep, ” Shiina said.

”…You want me to do that? ” Shishio asked inexplicably.

”Um. ” Shiina nodded and asked, ”Can you? ”

”….. ” Shishio raised his eyebrow, twitched his lips, and let out a sigh. ”Rita that you mentioned before is a girl, right? ”

”Um, she ’s a girl. ” Shiina nodded.

”I ’m a boy. ” Shishio was lost for words.

”I don ’t mind, ” Shiina said.

”…… ”

”Can you? ” Shiina asked.

”Come closer. ” Shishio gave up, feeling that he was facing a little girl, rather than a normal girl.

Shiina nodded with a slight smile in her eyes as if she had won something then without hesitation she moved closer.

Shishio was just right at the entrance of his door, his hand lifted Shiina ’s bangs gently, lowered his head, then kissed her forehead. He then patted her head for the last time, then said, ”Good night. ”

Shiina touched her forehead that was kissed by Shishio. She wasn ’t sure why, but she felt very warm, shy, and various mixed emotions, but one thing for sure, she didn ’t hate this feeling. She gave him a smile and said, ”Good night. ”

Shishio looked at Shiina ’s smile and couldn ’t look away, then he watched her slowly disappear from his sight then touched his face, wondering why he had done all of that before, after all, even though she was like a little girl, they were the same age. He let out a long sigh and felt quite complex. He shook his head and decided to sleep since somehow, he wanted to calm himself now since he knew that he had become a full-fledge scumbag.

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