I Refuse To Become Scumbag In Tokyo

Chapter 234 - Uncaged Bird

a sincere smile when in truth, he was so hurt inside, made her want to cry. When everyone was smiling happily and warmly, he was there, joined them, showing his handsome smile that could make every girl fall for him, when in truth, he wasn ’t smiling, his heart was in a mess, his loneliness, pain, agony, sadness, and sorrow, he kept all of them inside, locked it inside. No one could help him and reached him, yet while he was in that state, he could help everyone easily, solving their problems, and made them fall for him in the process.

Shishio didn ’t look at Shiina and stared at the tree silently. He could feel the air was slightly damp, which somehow made him wonder whether there would be rain soon. He took a deep breath and said, ”I have two answers, one that might make you happy, and the other one might make you feel regret when you hear it. Which one do you want to hear? ”

Shiina opened her mouth and then closed her mouth again. ”Are both of your answers your real feelings? ”

”Both of them are my real feelings. ” Shishio nodded.

”I want to hear a happy one, ” Shiina said.

”Because I ’m truly happy. I have been worried about a lot of things, and I have been very lonely, so just with you and everyone standing by my side, I ’m happy, ” Shishio said. ”The days that we have spent, even though not all of them are beautiful, I ’d thought of it as precious, and I want it to continue forever, which is why I want you to stay beside me, Mashiro. ” He looked at Shiina and asked, ”Will you? ”

Shiina ’s eyes were brimming in tears, but she showed a beautiful smile and nodded without hesitation. ”Yes! ”

”Thank you. ” Shishio smiled warmly.

Shiina smiled and asked, ”Then what about the next answer? ”

Shishio looked at Shiina and asked, ”Do you really want to hear it? ”

”Um. ”

”You might regret it if you hear it, though. ”

”I… ” Shiina looked at Shishio then shook her head. ”I want to hear it. ”

Shishio looked at Shiina for a moment and somehow understood why many people were smoking at this moment. Even though he didn ’t really have a hobby to smoke and even hated it, he wanted to smoke it somehow. Unfortunately, he didn ’t have it, so he then smiled warmly again while looking at Shiina and said, ”I don ’t want to brag, but I ’m a good actor. No matter how messed up I might be inside. Nothing shows on my face. ”

”….. ”

It was the same warm smile that Shishio had shown before, but this smile caused her heart to tighten, and Shiina couldn ’t control her tears anymore.

Shishio looked at Shiina ’s reaction and wasn ’t surprised. He wiped away her tears with his thumb gently and said, ”See? I ’ve told you that you ’ll regret it. ”

Shiina shook her head, holding her hand tightly, and couldn ’t utter any words.

”Do you know the reason why I have written that story? ” Shishio asked.

Shiina shook her head while crying silently, holding his hand without letting it away.

”Because I want to say goodbye, ” Shishio said. ”The woman that I have told you, I have fallen for her, but we can ’t be together, so I have thought to say goodbye by writing that story, but I guess it isn ’t that easy. You know, when I have finished that story, I feel so empty, it feels like… this is pointless. ”

”It ’s not pointless! You can be with her! ” Shiina quickly said.

”It ’s impossible. ” Shishio shook his head.

”It ’s not impossible! ”

Shishio shook his head and said, ”It ’s impossible since she isn ’t in this world anymore. ”

”… ” Her eyes wide open, and she lowered her head. ”…Sorry. ”

”Don ’t be. You don ’t know anything. ” Shishio shook his head and said, ”I ’ve been trying not to think about the things I wanted but couldn ’t have. I figured life must be about what you can ’t have. I ’d thought about giving up, but I just couldn ’t help but imagine even though I knew that this was pointless… ” He closed his eyes, and her picture was still vivid in his mind. He hated this feeling, the feeling of being trapped in the past and the feeling of being unable to move on, which was why, even though he didn ’t want to do it, he knew that he still needed to do it since he wanted to be freed from this wrenching feeling. ”Just… why did I fall in love? ”

Shiina couldn ’t handle it anymore and hugged him directly, sobbing on his chest.

Shishio didn ’t hug her back, staring at Shiina gently, and said, ”But I don ’t want to be trapped like this forever. Unable to move towards the future and stay in the past where I can ’t go back. ” He took a deep breath and said, ”So listen to me, Mashiro. ” He lifted her chin, staring at her red eyes and tears that kept dripping on her beautiful face, feeling the emotion that was brewing inside his heart, and said, ”I have been running away, but I have had enough of that, and I ’m ready to face my feelings, so listen carefully what am I going to say to you. ”

Shiina kept staring at Shishiso without blinking, ignoring the tears in her eyes.

”Thank you, ” Shishio said softly. ”You have stayed with me, helped me, and even spoiled me. Your feelings have moved me, and I ’m lucky to have you beside me, and I ’m sorry to make you sad, cry, and feel heartbroken. ”

Holding the hand that wiped her tears, Shiina shook her head, but she still kept looking at him.

Looking at Shiina, Shishio took a deep breath and said, ”I love you, Mashiro. ” He suddenly felt the knot on his heart start to untangle and dissolve as his world dyed in color, feeling her fingers gently wipe his tears.

”I love you too, Shishio, ” Shiina said as she stared at him. She could see his eyes staring at her lips, and she knew what she wanted to do. She hugged his neck, pulled him closer, and kissed him.. Feeling his hands on her waist, hugging her tighter, and thought that might not get enough of kissing him from now on.

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