My Heart .
I : Sun-Hee
”its alright if you run out of breath
No one will blame you
Its okay to make mistakes sometimes
Because anyone can do so
Although comforting by saying its alright
Are just words ”
– Breathe – > Lee Hi
”Wake up, wake up, wake up Appa ”, the little boy jumps up and down excitedly trying to get his father to get up. Hearing a heavy groan underneath, him he becomes ten times more excited to start his day. ”Appa wake up already ” ” Okay, okay Im up ”, The older man reluctantly got up checking the time realizing that they would definitely be late had he slept later ”Come on bub lets get ready ”, he said lifting the 5-year-old in the air and swinging him around eliciting excited giggles from him.
Getting ready in record time and successfully dropping his son at Kindergarten, Min-Jun sets off to work already exhausted at the thought of his packed schedule. As the successor of his dads company, he was expected to be professional and diligent at all times something that he never failed to stray from to keep the family business staying strong. Meeting after meeting keeps his days busy most of the time with the lingering benefit that at the beginning and end of every day, he got to spend his time with his son to bond, which in hindsight was way too little in his opinion. After a long day his favourite part of the day was fast approaching, grabbing his things he hastily exists the building ready to spend the evening bonding with his son.
”He hasn stopped frowning since he came home from Kindergarten , and when I asked him whats wrong he turns away, do you think he got picked on? ”, Minjuns mother asked worriedly ” Its okay Eomma Ill talk to him hopefully its nothing ”, nodding his mother hugs him and places a kiss on the little boys head to bid them goodbye, Min-Jun sighs deeply approaching the little boy cautiously and crouches down in front of him ”Hey bub, you want to tell me whats bothering you ”, with tears in his eyes the little boy jumps into his fathers embrace ”The other kids made fun of me today because I don have an Eomma like they do, Appa why don I have an Eomma?, Did she leave me because she doesn like me? ”
To say that he was shocked was an understatement, never had his son been bothered that his mother was not around, feeling ashamed he squeezes his son tightly sighing once again ”Im so sorry bub, please don cry, your Eomma wanted to be free, even though she loved you very much she wasn very happy here she has always done everything her family asked of her but she just couldn take it any longer she was stuck and it was my fault ”, his heart broke having to explain his mistakes to his little child. ”None of this is because of you, in fact you were the one that kept us together for as long as we were, you were a blessing and all that we could have wished for ”, he wiped his sons tears gently picking him up and walking towards his bedroom.
”Is Eomma happy now? ”, the little boy asked softly ”Im not sure bub, we didn keep contact with each other but Id like to think that she is happy wherever she is ”, the little boy nodded dejectedly accepting his fathers answer. ”Can we listen to Sunny tonight, Appa? ”, Min-Jun sighs knowing that the boy only requested Baek Sun-Hees music specifically one song when he has had a particularly hard day ”Its Sun-Hee bub, and thats okay Ill get it ready for you, go and brush your teeth ”, the boy quickly rushes off to brush his teeth and get ready for bed while his father sits and waits for him.
They lay in the bed silently the little boy snuggled in his fathers embrace while ”Breathe ” softly played in the background, Baek Sun-Hees voice soothing and lulling the little boy to sleep while his father stares at the ceiling feeling an immense amount of guilt for lying to his son about his mother, knowing that the truth would crush the little boy, he had decided that he had done the right thing. He gently detaches himself from his son and goes to turn the music off, stopping short when the lyrics catch his attention. With a heavy heart he stands there waiting for the song to finish playing for the 4th time, why did his son find solace in such a sad song?
It must be her voice he guesses as he turns off the song and gently closes his sons bedroom door, lazily he started walking to his own room hoping to get some sleep that night knowing it most likely won be possible because of his sons questions. He dreaded the day his son would know the truth and resent him for it but mostly he hated that his mind constantly wandered off to her, what was she doing? was she happy? It annoyed him that any possible answer to these simple questions whether good or bad would hurt him more than hed like to admit.
The loneliness that he usually feels when he stares at the wedding ring, he stubbornly still wears washes over him in waves, maybe he needed to take it off she wasn coming back, she had made that clear. He turned on his side grabbing a pillow to hug drifting off to sleep wanting someone to hold him tightly and tell him everything will be alright.
”Someones breath. That heavy breath
How can I see through that?
Though I can understand your breath
Its alright Ill hold you
You really did a good job ”
– Breathe – > Lee Hi
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