The Demon Slayers

\"Pen Pineapple Apple Pen\"

”I have a pen. I have an apple. Apple pen. I have a pen. I have pineapple. Pineapple pen. Apple pen. Pineapple pen. Pen pineapple apple pen. ” – Daimaou Kosaka.

”There was one weapon to rule them all. One weapon that made the demons tremble in fear for once. It was the pen pineapple apple pen. ” – Einstein.

The demons are almost entirely gone from our world now. Now they hide within people and lurk where no one can see them. Weapon technology has made them as afraid of us as we are afraid of them. For hundreds of years, we have been at a stalemate. But recently they have tricked humans into performing a terrible human sacrifice ritual that may revive the demon king Kramos and have opened up hundreds of invisible portals that only demons can go through in the world. The Travis Scott astroworld concert was this human sacrifice ritual.

Kramos was trapped inside and possessed Travis Scott since he was an infant however Travis Scott, although he was possessed by Kramos, was never powerful. It was this ritual that could finally turn Kramos back into his true, dangerous, and demonic form. In fact, Kramoss dark spirit could be spotted gliding across the intentionally packed crowd to return to its body. However, Kramoss dark spirit has not returned to his body yet. Kramoss body must be destroyed before his spirit reaches his body, for if it does so Kramos will be resurrected into his true, dangerous, and demonic form. If it does so then Kramos, using his great power, will try to conquer earth and make it another territory of hell in his quest for power. If it does so he will warm the globe further spreading and increasing the intensity of the fires that demons are already spreading across the world, further melting the polar ice caps that demons have already raised the temperature of the world to melt, further causing the flooding of coastal regions that demons have already devised.

Demons have been planning the end of the world as we know it for hundreds of years and reviving Kramos in his true and powerful form is what they need for their plan to end the world and it is just the start of it. Unfortunately, no one knew what their plan was… Kramoss body was invulnerable to mortal weaponry. However, there was one weapon forged by the fairy king that was powerful enough to stop Kramos from taking over the world. That weapon was the pen pineapple apple pen (or PPAP for short).

The vast majority of people did not believe that demons existed but George did. A demon killed his father right in front of him. He sought vengeance but he never knew how to get it until one day while he was taking a midnight stroll in the park, unbeknownst to him, he found the most dangerous weapon in all of history. As he was walking a landslide happened right in front of him. It didn surprise him. Nothing surprised him anymore. Poking out of the dirt he barely saw the tip of a pen through the moonlight.

”Why would someone bury a pen there? ” he said to himself.

As he pulled it out of the dirt he saw an apple that the pen was shoved through the center of and then, as he pulled it out further, a pineapple that the pen was shoved through the center of. He was surprised by something for the first time in forever.

Out of curiosity he picked it up and examined it. Immediately the dirt disappeared off of the PPAP. Again, this surprised him and made him even more curious. The pen extended 5 inches out from the end of the apple.

The pineapple glistens in the moonlight. It looks moist and sweet. If you were to lick the pineapple it would be surprisingly sour and bitter but it would also be sweet at the same time. However, as one can easily know from a moments thought, its a very ineffective writing tool.

The pineapple smells of gin and whiskey. I run my fingers across the slick and gooey pineapples surface feeling dull thorn-like things poke me softly and feeling the depressions in between each panel-like unit. I lift my goo-covered fingers up off the pineapple and the juice drips down each of my fingers at the same sticky pace as mucus. I lick it off of my fingers. It tastes like sap, whiskey, demon eggs (I didn know it at the time), and gin had all been mixed together and it made me feel kind of powerful. I had never tasted anything like it.

The apple glows with golden sparkly light in the dark night. As I run my hand over it my hand tingles and I feel as if my hands are hovering at a comfortable distance above a campfire while I am enjoying the heat. Some of the sparkles stay on my hand and I brush them against my face and then feel the tingling warmth. I wondered what it would feel like to eat the apple and feel the golden sparkles tingly warmth inside of me. Instead, I decided to eat a few of the golden sparkles. The feeling on my tongue was just like the feeling on my skin except that I tasted the tingles. Unfortunately, there is nothing that I could even remotely compare that taste to, so you, reader cannot get even a tiny fragment of an idea of what it tasted like. When the sparkles got into my stomach everything changed. The warmth and tingly sensation were no longer in one spot on my body. They both radiated all throughout my body in waves. He wrote in his journal with a strange pen. Directly in front of the moon clouds came together to form a moon-sized face. The moonlight illuminated it. The face began to speak and a voice boomed down from the sky.

”You have been chosen to defeat the demon king and forever banish him from the earth ”

Startled, George stared off into the distance for two seconds. He then poked himself hard as if trying to wake himself up and then quickly contemplated whether someone had drugged his coffee that morning.

”Why me? ” George finally said.

”You have experienced pain, suffering, and loss that few have knowingly experienced as a result of a demon. I know you. You want revenge, you want to kill that demon, and few want revenge more than you. Youve suppressed your memories of your father being killed by that demon. Youve told yourself that you were crazy and that it never happened. Youve told yourself that the demon-killing him was just a coping mechanism that you invented to pin the blame on something. Deep down you know that all is bullshit. You saw the blood, the pain in his face, the sadistic glee of the demon as it struck your father dead. You. The Travis Scott concert has forced that part of you deep down that knows the truth to resurface? Hasn it? ”

”How do you know all of this? ” asked George.

”I know everything about everyone, ” the voice from above replied.

”Then why didn you warn my father about the demon? ” George said angrily.

”You wouldn be able to comprehend it, ” said God, ”you are holding the tool that will get you your revenge. ”

A compass dropped from the sky right at Georges feet. He picked it up.

George watched the clouds depart and become normally shaped clouds again. He then stared down at the PPAP and wondered how two strange fruits and an oversized pen would help him slay the demon king.

He examined the compass. It was engraved with gold and diamond. On the back it said ”this compass points towards the most powerful being on earth whether that power is awakened or unawakened. As of writing the most powerful being on earth is the demon king. ”

”So hes more powerful than god ” George thought. ”Great. I think that my father would not like me to go on a suicide mission if he were alive. Besides I can even get this damned pen to do anything. ”

He drove home. As he was driving there he listened to the radio ”demon portals are popping up all over the world. Is it the end of days? How can you know if a demon portal is close to your home? Find out after the ads. Have you ever wondered why car insurance is so expen - ”

One moment he was driving on a perfectly normal street. The next moment his car was hurtling towards a massive pile of crashed cars and bloodied dead bodies. He veered to the right barely missing the pile and launching himself over a steep incline and a small lava pool. He looked around and gained his bearings.

”Where the hell am I? ” he said. ”Precisely ” a voice said from behind him. He got out of his car and looked behind him. He saw her limping and bloodied, walking towards him.

”Look around you ” she said. There were lava pools, trees with red bark an

点击屏幕以使用高级工具 提示:您可以使用左右键盘键在章节之间浏览。

You'll Also Like