I am too complicated to have friends


Few moments after I had regained consciousness, I found myself searching the flat. I didn leave, simply because I couldn . They had locked the door from the outside. Plus, I wasn thinking very clearly, in fact, I was feeling a little drunk, maybe thats why I then locked the door from the inside. So, I roamed around in the apartment. I was, obviously, thinking about the situation and how to mitigate the repercussions. Oh, I knew there were going to be some. After all, I was locked in an apartment with a newly dead man.

I thought of breaking the door, then I tried breaking the door, and after I had

failed, I brewed myself some coffee. I appreciated the caffeine and then

considered jumping out of the balcony. I had – after all – managed

flight, earlier that day. And what was the deal with the girl and her fancy

fingers? Suddenly there was a knock.

Yeah, these weird spaces between words and sentences, they are a hint to my identity. Maybe.

I casually opened the door and invited the police inside.

”Hello sir. ” I greeted the man, who by his demeanour gave off an air of authority, and therefore I thought was in charge.

”This way. ” I lead and the policeman followed. Two others, trailed behind him. One was a woman, a tall woman in her thirties. The other one was a man, smaller than the other two and was probably insane. He kept on muttering something under his breath the whole time.

After they had followed me inside the room, I went over to the bed and drew the sheets off the dead white man.

The taller man gasped and the woman exclaimed in surprise. Nothing seemed to affect the weird one, though. The other two looked at me, as if asking for an explanation. So, I gave them one.

”He is dead. ” I declared. Then raising my mug at them I asked ”Coffee? ”

Apparently, they didn want coffee. You can guess what took place after that. They arrested me.

Twenty minutes later, I was sitting in the back of a police jeep, with my hands cuffed. The lady took her seat opposite to me, while the weird guy sat shotgun and the taller man drove. There was an awkward silence, and my attempts at making small talk were unsuccessful.

After about eight kilometres, the weird man – effortlessly – shoved his senior out of the car. Dumping him in a particularly populated area. Then slumped back in his seat, as if nothing had happened. The car didn crash or stop, that was weird, particularly because no one was driving it.

The woman then leaned in, and freed me of my cuffs.

”Sorry for the poor treatment, child. ” The man said.

”Ah, okay…. I guess. ” I said, feeling a little disoriented.

”You want to drive? ” he asked.

”No. ” I replied with uncertainty.

”Thats quite alright. ” He said snapping his fingers.

The woman vanished, and in her place, appeared the tiny man.

And even though I didn ask, the dude told me without any reservations.

”I sent the girl home, ” he explained ”It was time for dinner. ”

Instead of stating the obvious, I found myself observing the mans features. His head was too big for his body. A long sharp nose along with two faintly green eyes. Nappy moustache and curly hair, but he didn keep a beard.

”Who are you? ” I asked.

He leaned closer; his voice as soft as a feather but as fierce as a blade.

”I am the hunger in this world, ” he declared ”I am quarrel and I am strife. I am the name of this age, ”

He stood up, buffing his chest, but retaining the same softness in his voice, he added ”I am Kaliyuga. ”

I was silent for a moment, then when I did speak, I spoke honestly: ”Could you, uh, speak any louder, I didn get half of that. ”

Kali cocked his head in disbelief.

”Oh, okay, ” he said, a little embarrassed.

Again, buffing out his chest and then crossing his arms he said with more strength in his voice ”I am the god of all things terrible; I am kali. ”

After another moment of silent contemplation, he avoided a potential disaster by saying: ”Do not confuse me with kālī, the goddess, I don want to enrage her. ”

Just so you know, kālī, is pronounced as kaa – h – li.

He looked at me, perhaps desiring a response. I don know, I can read his mind.

”Okay, ” I said ”What do you want with me? ”

He began zealously, but his voice stammered in the middle. ”Yes well …. Wait, you believe me? ” he was clearly surprised.

”Uh-huh, ” I said with a nod.

”Just like that? ” he seemed to have a hard time believing me.

”Just like that, ” I said ”Look man, I met this girl earlier who could make people fly. Then you and your folk came along, and it turns out you can make people disappear. And its not like I care, I have worse things than the girl to worry about.

”Plus, I am having a bad day and I don know why, but I feel drunk as hell. I just wanna go home. Whatever you have to say, just get on wit

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